During the Dharanas, I found each notion dissolving completely into Ham Sa before sailing me into meditation.
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We were guided through a long dharana that had several steps to it. I have never had such a deep experience of meditation and it was very different. I had no thoughts in my mind whatsoever and yet, I was still completely conscious and aware of every movement of activity in the room and beyond, like moving through various stages of manifestation of energy. It was like being very high up in a place that I have never been and watching movement of energy below me with no thoughts. I was in my body but I was not in my body. It's difficult to describe. All I know is I have been meditating for 30 years with other Gurus and I have never had such an intense experience of spiritual energy, while at the same time being completely conscious.
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When we were doing the Dharanas on desires, I recognized that mine came from the ego. My top three were: For people to recognize my intelligence, I want to look younger and I want to have more money. When I followed those desires back inside my own being, they began to dissolve by themselves. I remember hearing from inside myself "I want to look younger. I am young. I am Shiva."
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The contemplations Acharya Kedar lead us in today have brought me to the same conclusion. I have perpetuated my own suffering, agony and despair, in each instance and on each level of choosing to shrink from God and Righteousness. My only source of Joy and Bliss has come as a direct experience of being in alignment with God's perfect will for me.
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In the course I kept watching Acharya Kedar intently. I saw a golden light above his head that was very bright and I saw a green light around his face. I had so many experiences in meditation. One was that I went very deep and felt like I wasn't coming back. I then saw Bhagawan Nityananda walking towards me. There was a great deal of light. And then I came out of meditation.
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In the dharana, when we were aked to focus intensely on an object, I chose the peacock feathers. As I stared at them intensely, we were then asked to remove the object from our awareness. The peacock feathers got hazy and blochy before my very eyes and then the feathers dissolved into a huge blue light.
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This experience has become a very valuable one in that it has made my ability to meditate a lot stronger. I find I can meditate with greater ease and my meditations are spontaneous and a lot deeper than I had previously experienced on other paths. But what I value the most are the principles and practices of Supreme Meditation that Acharya Kedar teaches. His central teaching is based on The 5-Fold Act of Divine Consciousness as taught in Kashmir Shaivism. I am experiencing a daily transformation in my own behavior and my experience of life as a result of the spiritual practices and approaches I am learning that are based on this central teaching and I find this to be the most meaningful.
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I took the 1-Day course. I received Shaktipat even though Acharyaji did not give the touch. I found myself doing spontaneous mudras with my fingers during meditation. This was completely out of my control and lasted for almost the entire meditation. I also saw a small blue light, like a shining blue dot, while meditating.
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I can't begin to tell you how valuable I have found the 1-Day Course you offer. My experience has been truly transforming. I can actually meditate with ease and, since Shaktipat, I feel a freedom at the core of my being that is indescribable. Love to you and your great staff!
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